When Scott Shaw was planning to get married, he visited a bookstore to find a guide on eloping. He was certain that out of the hundreds of books in the wedding aisle, there would be at least one.
After scouring the shelves with no luck, he sough the help of a bookstore employee who was equally surprised when a search through the store's system came up with nothing.
Shaw and his now-wife Camille Shaw decided to elope anyway, but the experience inspired him to write a book on the topic. His book, “Let's Elope: The Definitive Guide to Eloping, Destination Weddings, and Other Creative Wedding Options,” came out in 2001.
Following the book’s release, Shaw moved on, started a family and eventually went on to become a founding partner of Alexandria Restaurant Partners and chair of the board of directors at Alexandria Economic Development Partnership, but he never shook the feeling that the idea behind his book could become something more.
Fast-forward nearly 20 years when Kim Olsen, who at the time was writing for Washingtonian, interviewed Shaw in his role as co-founder of ALX Community and its new coworking location in Alexandria. Olsen found out about Shaw’s book, and many meetings and brain-storming sessions later, their new company, The Art of Eloping LLC, was born. The company will launch a website this spring, and a new book about how to elope is in the works through publisher Chronicle Books.
The concept of eloping and the reasons for eloping have changed significantly over the years. “Twenty years ago eloping was this sort of oddball thing to do — you could go to Las Vegas and get married or you could find a justice of the peace. Now there’s this quiet movement going on that's not getting a lot of publicity, but younger couples are going, ‘Hey, I just don’t want the traditional big wedding,” explained Shaw. “A lot of it is the new frugality, the other [factor] is just people who want a more meaningful experience.”
Merriam-Webster wrote about the evolving meaning of the word eloping from “to run away to secretly get married, usually without parental approval” to "small destination wedding," "wedding that is not financially insane," or "wedding that allows us to not invite all the people we would rather not invite."
Elopement is on the rise. In 2019, Pinterest reported that the search for “Elopement Photography Ideas” went up 128 percent from the previous year.
When discussing some of the reasons couples elope today, Olsen said, “We’ve been interviewing lots of couples. We went into it thinking it was money as the reason [for eloping] and all the articles online supported it, but when you actually talk to couples, everybody says it’s the stress. They’ll spend $25,000 dollars on an awesome destination elopement, but they don’t want to send out save the dates. Many times it is about the money, but it wasn’t as big of a factor as we thought it was going to be.”
Shaw added that the increase in same-sex marriages is a factor, since same-sex weddings can often times be “mine-fields of family relations.” Eloping allows couples to avoid the pressure to invite unsupportive family members.
Beyond avoiding the money, stress and unwanted guests that are generally associated with larger, more traditional weddings, couples who elope today want more personalized and intimate weddings. Unlike in previous generations when eloping meant a Las Vegas chapel or the courthouse steps, couples today, who have often had long engagements, want a ceremony that best reflects them as a couple. Often times this means choosing locations that are meaningful rather than convenient, like where the couple met or where they got engaged. Typically, couples hire photographers who are able to creatively and intimately capture these ceremonies.
Even mainstream wedding vendors and planners have picked up on the increased popularity of eloping. “Many mainstream vendors have elopement packages or small dinner parties…there are different ways to go about it [eloping] in these more traditional places as well,” Olsen said.
To help couples navigate their eloping options, the website will include destination guides, information on marriage laws, vendors who specialize in these types of weddings and an Elope Diaries series featuring real couples and their elopement experiences. Users of the site will be able to collect vendors onto one page with a lot of tools available to streamline the planning process. “Eloping is simple so your planning should be, too,” said Olsen.
The wedding industry is built to support traditional weddings, but the Art of Eloping website was created exclusively for couples who plan to elope. Users will not have to dig around or feel less prioritized than couples planning traditional weddings.
Olsen and Shaw pointed out that Alexandria is a popular elopement spot, with its picturesque alleys and historic venues that lend themselves perfectly to intimate ceremonies. The Washington, D.C. area is a well-established wedding destination, giving couples access to a large number of vendors.
When asked for her top advice for couples considering elopement, Olsen answered “Just do it. Don’t be swayed by family members who want you to do a certain thing.”
Not one couple Olsen has interviewed has regretted eloping.
Wedding company Zola conducted a survey in 2017 of 500 engaged and newly married couples and results indicated that almost half of couples considered eloping. Olsen emphasized that every couple is different and, in the end, they should do what they want — whether it’s eloping or planning a large, more traditional wedding.
Planning a wedding or thinking about eloping? Either way, you may want to attend the Alexandria Wedding Showcase on June 28, 2020. Learn more here.
