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“You can’t play with us. You’re fat.”
Rachel Boehm
These words would haunt Rachel Boehm for decades after they were spoken to her outside her third grade classroom.
In her soon-to-be-released memoir titled “I Am Not!,” Boehm reveals her experience with, and ultimate triumph over bullying, disordered eating and societal norms. From her childhood in Austin, Texas to working as an aspiring actress in Los Angeles and then as an award-winning journalist, the book presents moments from Boehm’s life that shaped her view of herself.
Boehm was inspired to write her memoir to help the many others who struggle with similar issues.
“Everything happens for a reason…I was given this journey to survive and pay it forward, so one person can dare to dream more,” Boehm explained. According to statistics presented at the end of the book, at least 25-30 percent of children experiencing bullying at school and almost 20 percent of adults face bullying at work. 65 percent of women between ages 25 and 45 report disordered eating.
The book was carefully crafted to allow readers to join Boehm on her journey. The book is divided into 4 sections that speak to different struggles she faced including her weight, the pressure to look and be perfect, feeling stupid and then her ultimate recovery. She said that her road to healing was like peeling back the layers of an onion. She wanted her book to have that same feel. “When I was going on my first round of counseling…I thought it was about the food, the weight. Then I realized, 'Oh wait, it’s a larger issue that led to that, let me peel that layer back.'”
Each chapter is simply a moment, an observation or an anecdote. They contain words said to her or words she told herself about who she was and what she was worth. The brevity of the chapters gives an extra power and urgency to her stories.
Boehm offered words of advice for those dealing with similar feelings of inadequacy. “Choose yourself. We are always waiting for other people to choose us. Choose that you are enough for yourself. Choose that you are enough for your dreams,” said Boehm.
For those who care for those struggling she says keep showing up for them and be that safe place they can turn to when they are ready. Boehm believes that society needs to continue having conversations about bullying, perfectionism, eating disorders, disordered eating, and what it means to be female. Boehm thinks that mental health education and teaching compassion, coping skills and emotional awareness to kids and adults would go a long way in reducing not only bullying but the repercussions of bullying.
Boehm recognizes that her book will resonate most with females but she hopes that it will resonate with anybody who questions their value or knows somebody who does. Men and those of other identities face many of the same issues with bullying and self-image and their experiences need to be told, said Boehm.
Boehm is now a whole-health coach and workplace wellness advocate and a consultant for Rodan + Fields. She also teaches a core strength and conditioning class at the School of Public Health at George Washington University. She enjoys living in Alexandria for the history, the small cozy feel and the supportive community she has found here. She confessed to writing a number of chapters of her book at Jones’ Point Park, her favorite spot in the city.
“I Am Not!” will be released on June 26, 2020 which is also International Self-Esteem day. ALX Community and Alexandria Living Magazine will be hosting a book launch and virtual meet and greet on Zoom from 6 p.m. – 7 p.m. (More information is available at www.facebook.com/events/1289259131270830/.)
The book can be preordered from Amazon here or from Barnes & Noble here.
